How do you pray for a dying loved one?

Visiting a dying loved one is a hard thing. Wednesday was especially hard for me to visit my Poppa. Over the 80mins that I was with him, he was up and down like a yo-yo. Firstly he was hardly talking and didn't really recognise that I was there. It was heartbreaking and very hard for me to bear. After a little while he rallied a bit and during his lunch was even joking with me! He was being a bit cheeky, which is the way that I want to remember him, because that's a big part of his character.

I'm not sure what is hardest- loosing my Poppa due to death, or losing him to old age and him living, but being a vegetable. That last one is the way that things are going at the moment, and it's hard. It's hard seeing such an independent and strong man simply lying in a bed waiting for death. How do I pray for him? Do I pray for him to get better and to prolong his life, or do I pray for death to come swiftly? I believe that God has the power to do both of these things, but when Poppa's like he is at the moment it's hard to believe that he will be getting any better. Maybe it would be better if he was able to be in heaven with God?

And then there's the toll that it's taking on the family. It's especially hard for my Mum, who just wants her Dad back. It's also draining, as we're spending time with him twice each day (between the three of us). If things go on the way that they are for a few months, we'll all be exhausted at the end of it. But is that what I should be thinking about? The toll that it takes on the family? Shouldn't I just be praying for him to hold on as long as he can, so we can spend more time with him and not worry about the stress? But then that in itself is selfish, because wanting him to be alive just for the sake of being alive may not be the best thing for my Poppa.

The best thing that I can do is to leave it in God's hands. It's a hard thing to do, but who better to give the situation to? I pray that my Poppa can not suffer and be in pain and that God will take him when the time is right. Please can you pray this with me?

Sweden

The last stop on my Scandinavian tour was Sweden- well Stockholm to be precise. Although I travelled through Sweden on my way to Norway on the 5th June, I didn't get to Stockholm until the 10th and I stayed until the 12th. Here's my impressions, some photos and even a video!

Stockholm:
A light drizzle of rain here and there didn't stop me from heading out and about to see Stockholm. There were so many big old buildings that were so beautiful. I don't even know what half of them are! I caught the changing of the guards (as I did in other capitals), but here it was crazy busy. So many tourists and so many big tour buses all over the place. Since being back in Adelaide, I've realised that that's probably because the youngest Swedish princess was married on the 8th, so people probably stayed around after that for a couple of days to see the sights. There was also crazy young people in flat-bed trucks with music, yelling and dancing driving around all over the city. I wasn't sure what that was about, but a google search told me that it's a tradition for high school graduates on their graduation day!

What I would be doing today if I was still in Europe!

So today marks the first day of my three week Contiki tour of Southern Europe. If I was still in Europe that is. I warn you that this post will probably come out a bit whiny, but I swear that after it's all out, I will try my best to move on and get over myself.

So today I would be heading to Paris to start my tour that would take me through France to Spain, along the French Riviera, through Italy and finishing in Greece. I was looking forward to this tour soooo much. And not just because it took me to Italy, which is that place in Europe that I most want to go. It was the perfect tour for me (despite being with Contiki- which I was a bit wary of to start with). In all my research about tours, this was the only one that had the option to go to Pompeii in Italy, as well as all the other places that I want to go in Italy. I had finally booked and payed off this tour, after a lot of hesitation and wondering if I could even afford it, and was very excited.

But as you should all know, I'm no longer in Europe. I'm back in Australia. Which, of course, means I had to cancel the tour. So I still haven't been to Italy. I'm quite sad about not being able to do this tour, but I have to remember the reason I decided to come back to Australia. I'm so glad that I was able to see my Poppa again, and to spend a bit of time with him. He's still alive, but he's not very well at the moment, and we still have no idea of how much longer he'll live. Italy, and the rest of Europe, will still be there in 1, 2 or 5 years. My Poppa won't be. I'm glad that I came back to Australia, it's just when I'm sitting on the couch at my parent's place (where I now live) looking at a day of doing not that much (and staring into a week of not that much), it's hard not to be sad that I'm not travelling around Europe. It's hard not to be sad that I'm not living one of my dreams rather than sitting on the couch.

Is there a good type of homesick?

So at church tonight we were singing a song that really made me think about my church family in NL and to really miss them. I miss talking with them, praying with them, worshipping with them. I love them and now I'm stating to feel a bit homesick for NL. Man this whole having lived in two places thing is hard!

And then it got me thinking (along with the sermon at church tonight). I've got another home that I'm homesick for. It's a different type of homesick though, because I haven't been there before, but I'm eagerly awaiting the time that I can be there. This third home is heaven. The word 'heaven' will probably have many different meanings to the people who read this blog. As a Christian I believe that it is a place where I will meet God face to face and know Him more personally then I do now. It's a place where there is no more pain, suffering and death. Why do I believe these things about heaven? Well God has told us what heaven will be like in the Bible.

'Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelations 21:2-4

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty homesick for this. I can't wait to be there with God and without the pain and suffering that this current world has. So when I think about it, I have 3 homes to be homesick for- Australia, the Netherlands and heaven. What about you? Are you homesick for heaven?

Norway

What can I say about Norway?! It was the country that I was looking forward to the most on my Scandinavian tour, so I spent the most time there, 5th-10th June. If you ever get the chance to go to Norway, do it. Don't think twice about it, just go. Let me tell you, it does not disapoint. I would have loved to explore this beautiful country more thouroughly, but alas time was against me. So I only spent time in Oslo, Bergen and the surrounding areas. Here's my thoughts.

First impressions:
Nature is everywhere. Having been living in the dead flat country of NL, it was so amazing to see all the mountains and valleys. I took the train for 7 hours between Oslo and Bergen and it was spectacular! Each corner that the train rounded gave a stunning view of mountains, trees, water and valley. In the higher sections of this trip there was also snow! I tried reading and watching tv on this trip, but my eyes keep gravitating to the window and the view. Needless to say, I didn't get much of either done.

The capital- Oslo:
A couple of days in Oslo at a youth hostel gave me a chance to relex a little without have to chat to a host, as I was still feeling a bit sick from the cold that I had before I left on my travels. I feel a bit guilty about staying indoors rather than sight-seeing, but I was able to see the main sights on the day that I left. Although I felt like it was a very industrial city, the harbour was spectacular. Driving into Oslo on the bus we also had a great view of the islands and inlets. On the 7th there was a regatta in the harbour, which made for some pretty views. 

Out west- Bergen:
The second biggest city in Noway is situated on the west coast and deep in fjord country. I took the train across the mountains, which had stunning views at every turn! The city of Bergen itself is very hilly with cute little houses and stone streets everywhere. It's also surrounded by the mountains, which makes for a great backdrop. While I was there I went on a train/bus/boat tour to and on two of the fjords. I could share so many photos with you (I took about 250), but here's just a few.

 

 

 

Alena's 1st Birthday

Coming back to Aust has its pros and cons, and this is most definately a pro. Since I was back in Aust before my only niece's 1st birthday, I was able to join in the celebrations in person. We had loosely planned some kind of Skpye during the party, but I wouldn't have been able to be there in person. Since all my plans were thrown out the window, I was able to fly to Canberra for the weekend for the festivities and some much needed family time. In attendence was my parents, two brothers and their wives, myself, and some friends and relatives of my sister-in-law. 

Having not seen Alena in 8 months (except on Skype) it was so great to have a cuddle and to see how much she's grown. She's such a lovely little girl who is so smart! I loved playing with her and all her toys, watching her open her birthday presents and just spending time with her. Hopefully I'll be able to see her a bit more now that I'm in the same country!!

Here's some pics of the weekend for your enjoyment (some are blurry as it's hard to get a good shot of a wriggling kid!)

 

 

Am I dreaming?

I feel like I'm living in a dream. This may be because it's 1am, or it could be my jet-lagged/sleep deprived brain. Or it could be the fact that I just can't believe I'm back in Australia for good. Have I really just finished living in the Netherlands for 11 months? It feels like I'm just getting ready to go and live there. My time in the Netherlands feels like it went very quickly and that I really wasn't there for that long. Has it really been so long since I've seen Adelaide and all the lovely people here? It feels like I saw them all last week, yet I still miss them terribly.

As I start settling back into Australian life, I can't help but think that I'm only here for a short time. I feel like I'm on holiday and will soon be heading back 'home' to the Netherlands. I guess that I felt more at home and settled in NL than I thought I did. I just can't help thinking that I'll wake up in my little loft bed in my Dutch appartment and get ready to catch the tram to, well anywhere. I keep thinking that I'll be hearing Dutch all around me and that I need to be prepared for whatever the weather will throw at me. At least that last bit's a little true still. Seeing as it's winter (my third in a row!) in Australia, I do have to be ready for cold, wind, rain and even sun. But that's beside the point. I will have to adjust to my 'old home' being my 'new home' and it's a little strange at the moment. Well what can I say, I've only been back in the country for a day!

As I set up my room at my parent's house, I have to start looking to the future and stop dwelling too much on the past. I've had my year in the Netherlands and now I'm back in Australia and I need to start living my life here. I'm so glad for the opportunity that I had to spend that year in NL and I can't believe it actually happened! Yet again I went after what I wanted to do with my life and made it happen (of course with God's help!). Now I wonder what God has in store for my future!!