Radio Silence

So I haven't written for a few weeks, which I guess is not all that strange, but I thought I owed you all an explanation. On the 29th of July my Poppa died. Although this was a very sad event, I'm glad that he is now not suffering or in pain. We had the funeral on the 3rd of August and it was a really great way of saying goodbye to a wonderful man. We had a house full of guests as a lot of my family lives interstate and although it was a bit crazy, it was really nice having lots of people around to help take your mind off things.

Since then, I've been helping my parents clean out Poppa's room, which is a task and a half. It's been confirmed that my Poppa is where I get my hoarding trait from! It's fun looking at all the photos though, especially the older ones and ones with my parents in them. There's some great photos with amazing fashion.

I've also spent a long weekend down in Goolwa with my Mum, just relaxing. It's been great to get away from the house and to also just forget about the long list of things that I need to do. The weather was divine, so sunny, and it was great to sit outside reading and playing board games.

So now I'm back in Adelaide and ready to get some things done.

How do you pray for a dying loved one?

Visiting a dying loved one is a hard thing. Wednesday was especially hard for me to visit my Poppa. Over the 80mins that I was with him, he was up and down like a yo-yo. Firstly he was hardly talking and didn't really recognise that I was there. It was heartbreaking and very hard for me to bear. After a little while he rallied a bit and during his lunch was even joking with me! He was being a bit cheeky, which is the way that I want to remember him, because that's a big part of his character.

I'm not sure what is hardest- loosing my Poppa due to death, or losing him to old age and him living, but being a vegetable. That last one is the way that things are going at the moment, and it's hard. It's hard seeing such an independent and strong man simply lying in a bed waiting for death. How do I pray for him? Do I pray for him to get better and to prolong his life, or do I pray for death to come swiftly? I believe that God has the power to do both of these things, but when Poppa's like he is at the moment it's hard to believe that he will be getting any better. Maybe it would be better if he was able to be in heaven with God?

And then there's the toll that it's taking on the family. It's especially hard for my Mum, who just wants her Dad back. It's also draining, as we're spending time with him twice each day (between the three of us). If things go on the way that they are for a few months, we'll all be exhausted at the end of it. But is that what I should be thinking about? The toll that it takes on the family? Shouldn't I just be praying for him to hold on as long as he can, so we can spend more time with him and not worry about the stress? But then that in itself is selfish, because wanting him to be alive just for the sake of being alive may not be the best thing for my Poppa.

The best thing that I can do is to leave it in God's hands. It's a hard thing to do, but who better to give the situation to? I pray that my Poppa can not suffer and be in pain and that God will take him when the time is right. Please can you pray this with me?

Is there a good type of homesick?

So at church tonight we were singing a song that really made me think about my church family in NL and to really miss them. I miss talking with them, praying with them, worshipping with them. I love them and now I'm stating to feel a bit homesick for NL. Man this whole having lived in two places thing is hard!

And then it got me thinking (along with the sermon at church tonight). I've got another home that I'm homesick for. It's a different type of homesick though, because I haven't been there before, but I'm eagerly awaiting the time that I can be there. This third home is heaven. The word 'heaven' will probably have many different meanings to the people who read this blog. As a Christian I believe that it is a place where I will meet God face to face and know Him more personally then I do now. It's a place where there is no more pain, suffering and death. Why do I believe these things about heaven? Well God has told us what heaven will be like in the Bible.

'Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelations 21:2-4

I don't know about you, but I'm pretty homesick for this. I can't wait to be there with God and without the pain and suffering that this current world has. So when I think about it, I have 3 homes to be homesick for- Australia, the Netherlands and heaven. What about you? Are you homesick for heaven?

Alena's 1st Birthday

Coming back to Aust has its pros and cons, and this is most definately a pro. Since I was back in Aust before my only niece's 1st birthday, I was able to join in the celebrations in person. We had loosely planned some kind of Skpye during the party, but I wouldn't have been able to be there in person. Since all my plans were thrown out the window, I was able to fly to Canberra for the weekend for the festivities and some much needed family time. In attendence was my parents, two brothers and their wives, myself, and some friends and relatives of my sister-in-law. 

Having not seen Alena in 8 months (except on Skype) it was so great to have a cuddle and to see how much she's grown. She's such a lovely little girl who is so smart! I loved playing with her and all her toys, watching her open her birthday presents and just spending time with her. Hopefully I'll be able to see her a bit more now that I'm in the same country!!

Here's some pics of the weekend for your enjoyment (some are blurry as it's hard to get a good shot of a wriggling kid!)

 

 

The best laid plans

Here I sit, on my last night in NL, with bags packed and garbage bags of things to give away. I'm hoping that all of the things I want to take back don't add up to me being over my airline's allowed limit of 20kg checked and 7kg hand luggage. It really hasn't sunk in that I'm leaving the Netherlands for good tomorrow, and there's a couple of reasons for that.

Firstly, my plans have chanced drastically and suddenly. I was due to stay in NL until the 4th of September, but with the discovery of my Poppa's cancer and his current hospitalisation, I've decided to go back to Australia now. I changed my flights on Monday, so I've only had the past 4 days to pack up my life here and attempt to say goodbye to as many people as possible. This means that instead of having another two months, I had a week. That's a big change and hard to get used to.

Secondly, it usually takes a while to get used to leaving a place that's been your home for the past year. I can't imagine not being here and walking the streets of Den Haag and visiting the beach at Scheveningen. I can't imagine not living in my appartment with Mara and hearing Dutch all around me. It's surreal that on the weekend I'll be back in Australia!

So as I sit here thinking, I'm both happy and sad that I'm leaving. I'm sad that it has to be under the circumstance of my Poppa having cancer and having the possibility that I won't see him again before he dies. I'm sad that I've had to cancel travels and time with friends. I'm sad that I can't say a proper goodbye to so many people. I'm sad that I'm heading into another winter. I'm happy that I'll be seeing my parents in a few days. I'm happy that I can be starting a new stage in my life. I'm happy that I get to catch up with dear friends again.

So basically I'm a mixed up person at the moment and I think I will be for a while as I try to process all that's happening and as I try to settle back down in Australia. I'll let you know how things go.

Easter Wekend

So last weekend was Easter. Hopefully that's not news to you! Anyway, I took the chance to visist my German 'sister', Julia. In 2004-2005 Julia came to Australia on exchange. She lived with my family for the year and went to school with me and everything. Needless to say, we became very close and is now known as my 'sister', because she's the closest thing I've got to one (minus my lovely sister-in-laws!).

Julia and I in the car on our 'road trip'

So anyway, I took the chance to head to Germany for 4 days. Thursday after the Bible Study at the Haagse Hogeschool, I took the train to Groningen, which is in the north of NL. I then took the train to a small place in Germany called Leer. I always get a bit nervous as I head out of NL and into a country where I don't know the language at all. My German is atrocious, so I always double check everything and ask people if I'm on the right train (in English). Anyway, I made it safe and sound to Leer, where Julia was waiting for me on the platform. It's an amazing feeling when you're in a foreign place and you see a dear friend waiting for you. It lights my heart in a very special way. We then drove to her place in Oldenburg, so that she could pack for our 'road trip'. We spent a bit of time looking at photos from her exchange in Australia. Man we were so young then! We then drove to Hannover, where Julia's mum and younger sisters live- all 6 of them! They have a lovely big house and when we got there, and for the following day, it was completely ours! Julia's mum and the youngest sisters were off in the north of Germany at a horse riding place, and the older sisters were off with boyfriends. It was a strange feeling being in that big house with no-one but Julia and I around. It was definately more quiet!! Good Friday we went to church, which was unfortunately all in German. Thankfully, it was just reading from the Gospel of Matthew the story of Jesus' death on the cross. This meant I was able to read along in my Bible and listen to the songs that were sung by the choir in German.

Saturday brought the arrival of Julia's family, and therefore much more noise, back into the house. We were able to head into the city for some shopping. Mostly just looking, except for a Hannover mug to add to my collection. We also meet up with Julia's boyfriend, Carsten, and had lunch at this amazing Turkish resturant. I was so full afterwards that I could hardly walk back to the tram! Saturday night was a chance to join in with the neighbours in a tradition in Germany of the 'Easter Fire'. Basically we just sat around a small fire in the neighbour's backyard and drank Gluwein (hot red wine) and other hot drinks. We had to cover our mugs though, because it was snowing! I found that quiet funny. An Easter Fire is traditionally used to burn the things in your life that you want to rid yourself of, so the neighbour had some papers to burn.

Sunday was the start of daylight savings, so I got a bit confused about the time. I wasn't sure if my phone changed automatically, so I changed it myself, and then it changed itself. Anyway, I think everyone was a little sleepy and not so organised. We planned to go to the church for breakfast, but we didn't make it. We had a nice breakfast at home, intending to get to church after, but we again didn't make it! So we spent the day at home. I was able to talk to my parents and my Poppa over Skype and we even had a sauna, which is in the shed out the back. It was so great to have some warmth after such a long, cold winter! In the afternoon, Julia and I packed up and left for Osnabruck, which is where Carsten and his parents live. It was so nice to meet them, but was a bit hard due to me not knowing German and Carsten's parents not having used their English since high school! With all the German that I heard, and didn't understand, over the weekend, I realised that my Dutch actually isn't that bad. Just don't tell anyone that I know here in NL, because they'll make me talk Dutch!

Anyway, on the Sunday night, we went with Carsten and his friend to a big Easter Fire, which was much more like an Aussie bonfire. It was great to stand around and be warmed by it's flames. After a while we headed to a really old cute bar in the city centre to talk and eat some more over a glass of beer/wine. It was great to just chat about so many random things.

A German BBQ- fat sausage in a bread roll!

Me by the Easter Fire in Osnabruck

Monday was a tour of Osnabruck, which is a really nice place. We then hit the road again in order for me to get back to Leer to catch the train back to NL. Needless to say, it was a busy weekend, but it was such a great one! I hope you all had a great Easter weekend too. I'd love to hear what you got up to- just leave a comment.

6 Days in Australia

Hi everyone! I know it's been a while, but here I am again. I've been busy with work, but also with a trip back to my beloved Australia. My brother's wedding was on the 17th of November, and I made the trip in order to be there for that occassion. Let me tell you- it was worth it!

After 24 hours of travel from Amsterdam to Melbourne (via Kuala Lumpur) it was great to be picked up at the airport by my brother Jono. Staying with him and his fiance, Tammy, was a great way to relax and actually see them a bit before the wedding. I also got to meet some of Tammy's family. After picking up my Poppa from the airport a couple of days later, it was off the the beach house in Safety Beach to spend some time with my parents. Although Mum was sick, I was still able to spend time playing games and chatting with her and Dad. I was also able to catch up with my other brother and my sister-in-law and my beautiful niece! But quickly the big day arrived!

Safety Beach

The wedding was held in a rose garden at an estate on the Mornington Penninsula. It was a beautiful sunny day and Tammy was looking spectacular. I was honoured to be asked to do the Bible reading- 1 Corinthians 13:4-6. After the ceremony, I was able to spend the rest of the evening catching up with both immediate and extended family members- a few of which I haven't seen in quite some time. There was also a bit of dancing throughout the night! The best part of the night though was that I've 'officially' gained another sister. I love Tammy so much and am so glad that she's a part of our family.

Jono and Tammy

A few days later it was back to Europe after another 24 hours of travel. Arriving back in Den Haag was a bit surreal to start with. Seeing the familiar buildings and remembering how much I love this city was great and surprising, but I am also now missing my family and friends in Australia. My heart is split at the moment- between two countries. It's split between the cold, flat land that I'm currently making my home and the sunny, laid-back land I have lived in for most of my life.

6 days is not a long time to spend in a country, but it was such a blessing that I will soon forget the long travel and the tirdeness from jetlag and will only remember the beautiful ceremony, time spent with family and the tears as I left them yet again.

Church is family

Please don't take your church family for granted. I hope you go to a church where you feel at home. You know people there and they know you. I don't mean that they know about you, but that they really KNOW you and they care about and for you. I had a church famliy like this in Adelaide. I loved seeing them every week, spending time with them and worshipping God together. Just like my 'real' family, I took them for granted. I took for granted the fact that they'd be there for me no matter how I was feeling. I took for granted the love that they shared with me when they invited me to their homes; as they prayed for things going on in my life; as we read the Bible together. Mostly I miss the love they conveyed in such simple ways as smiles and hugs.

'Church shopping' isn't fun. It's like going to live with a long-lost sister that you only just found out you had. You know there's a connection between the two of you, but you don't know the first thing about her. You aren't comfortable around her and you don't know what to say. I hope this is making some sort of sense. There's a comfort to family (church or not) that you don't realise is there until it's not there- or you're not there. That said, there's things you can do to grow the relationship, but it's not easy. The best thing to do is persevere. Persevere with going, with talking to people, with getting involved, with taking up invitations etc. That said, I guess it's the same with your church family too. Sometimes you won't feel like seeing them, or going to church at all (for whatever reasons). You just have to. 

The thing I need to remember is that church is about worshipping God. It's not about how I feel, but about having the chance to gather with others to sing praises to our most wonderful creator. It's about reading the Bible together and listening to what God is saying through the songs, Bible, preacher, and other people around us. It's not about us at all- it's about God.