Becoming who you want to be

Let me pose a question to you all. How do we become the person that we want to be? As the new year has started, it's the time to think about what's ahead, to think about the changes that are coming, and also the changes that you want to make in your life. This usually leads to a list of 'resolutions'. Resolutions in this sense is defined (by dictionary.com) as 'the act of resolving or determining upon an action or course of action'. It's usually about what you want to change in your life for the coming year. I've never made a New Year's Resolution. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I don't think you need a new year to make you want to change something. Maybe it's because I know that I don't have the will power to stick to it. Maybe it's because it's a tradition and I really don't want to be stuck doing something that I don't want to do, just because everyone else is doing it. Maybe it's a combination of all of these things.

But my question is still relevent. How do we become the person that we want to be? We all have ideas about who that person is. Some of the things we want might be unrealistic, but what about those things that are realistic? I have this feeling that I'm not currently growing at all into this 'envisioned' person. But who is this 'person'- this 'ideal Hayley'? She's someone who puts Jesus at the centre of her life. That focuses on Him and who He is, what He's done and lives her life according to those things. I don't feel like I'm that person. I feel like I'm actually growing away. How do I change this?

There's so much talk these days about change coming from within. Flinding your own power to change. I think this is a load of crock. If I'm relying on my own power to change, I'm never going to change- at least not into the person I should be. Our human desires are to rebel against God- to grow away from Him and to put ourselves at the centre of our lives. This is the opposite to what I want. I want Him at the centre. I want to be the person He wants me to be. If I rely on my own strength to do this, it won't work. I can only do this through His power. This change is an important one, and something that needs to happen daily in my life.

What person do you see when you envision the 'ideal' you?

SNOW!

A snowy world

This is what I woke up to! A white, snowy, cold world. Snow amazes and excited me. We knew it would snow overnight, so, like a little kid waiting for Christmas morning, I kept waking up every couple of hours looking out the window to see if it had snowed yet. When I woke up to this wonderland, I was so excited. Walking to the beach with my Dutch housemate, she was laughing at my exclaimations and joy from this 'normal' stuff. Now that I meantioned the beach, here's the thing that I can't wrap my head around- it snows at the beach!! I never imagined that it would be cold enough at the beach for there to be snow. But when we reached the beach, there was a field of snow on top of the sand! I guess it makes sense that if it's cold enough to snow in Den Haag, a seaside city, then it would snow at the beach. I just think of warmth when I think of the beach, and snow only happens when it's really cold.

Water, sand and snow! Me at the snowy beach. 

So today was the first snow for the season. I'm looking forward to much more snow and seeing this lovely white powder all over the place in the future! Snow makes winter (and the cold) worthwhile.

6 Days in Australia

Hi everyone! I know it's been a while, but here I am again. I've been busy with work, but also with a trip back to my beloved Australia. My brother's wedding was on the 17th of November, and I made the trip in order to be there for that occassion. Let me tell you- it was worth it!

After 24 hours of travel from Amsterdam to Melbourne (via Kuala Lumpur) it was great to be picked up at the airport by my brother Jono. Staying with him and his fiance, Tammy, was a great way to relax and actually see them a bit before the wedding. I also got to meet some of Tammy's family. After picking up my Poppa from the airport a couple of days later, it was off the the beach house in Safety Beach to spend some time with my parents. Although Mum was sick, I was still able to spend time playing games and chatting with her and Dad. I was also able to catch up with my other brother and my sister-in-law and my beautiful niece! But quickly the big day arrived!

Safety Beach

The wedding was held in a rose garden at an estate on the Mornington Penninsula. It was a beautiful sunny day and Tammy was looking spectacular. I was honoured to be asked to do the Bible reading- 1 Corinthians 13:4-6. After the ceremony, I was able to spend the rest of the evening catching up with both immediate and extended family members- a few of which I haven't seen in quite some time. There was also a bit of dancing throughout the night! The best part of the night though was that I've 'officially' gained another sister. I love Tammy so much and am so glad that she's a part of our family.

Jono and Tammy

A few days later it was back to Europe after another 24 hours of travel. Arriving back in Den Haag was a bit surreal to start with. Seeing the familiar buildings and remembering how much I love this city was great and surprising, but I am also now missing my family and friends in Australia. My heart is split at the moment- between two countries. It's split between the cold, flat land that I'm currently making my home and the sunny, laid-back land I have lived in for most of my life.

6 days is not a long time to spend in a country, but it was such a blessing that I will soon forget the long travel and the tirdeness from jetlag and will only remember the beautiful ceremony, time spent with family and the tears as I left them yet again.

Autumn

Lange Voorhout in Den Haag

Sophielaan Den Haag

Autumn in Den Haag is said to be the wettest time. I'm finding this out the hard way! There are days when rain comes out of nowhere and there are days that look like there should be rain, but it just never comes. I'm getting into the habbit of carrying around an umbrella with me- just in case. Other than the rain, autumn has brought with it the beautiful change in colour of leaves that is the signature of this season. Although this happens in Australia, I can't ever remember it happening on the same scale as here. Leaves are changing colour and falling all over the place. The funny thing is that it's come all of a sudden. One day trees were all green, then the next day there's so much colour it's amazing. Soon there won't be any leaves at all!!

The other thing that Autumn has brought is colder weather. Although the end of summer wasn't exactly warm, I'm already in the winter coats I would wear in Australia. Scarves and boots are also a must. The scary thing is that this is just the beginning! It's only going to get colder as the year continues. Before I know it, winter will be upon me and I'll be in thermals and thicker jumpers/coats. The only hope for winter is the hope of snow. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself here. Today I went for a lovely walk in the autumn weather and took photos of the scenes unfolding in front of me. It was a beautiful day to see God's amazing creation- and believe it or not, it wasn't raining!

Culture

I've had a few conversations with people lately about the differences in culture between Australia and the Netherlands. I think it's a hard question. I've been here now for just over 2 months, so you would think that I've had enough time to know what some of the differences are. But for the life of me I can't seem to work them out. There may be a couple of reasons for this:

1. I'm not an observant person. I'm not very good at observing people and analysing what they're saying. I don't think I can distil out the culture behind what people say and do.

2. I've lived here before, so I find it 'normal'. I think this may be a big factor. I feel very at home here, and I think it's because I've had more than these last 2 months to get to know how things work in the Netherlands.

3. There's not much difference in the cultures. This may be true, but I'm not really sure. I think Australian and Dutch culture are more similar than many other cultures though.

I think I will have to try harder to discover the culture...

Thankful?

I believe that in every day life we tend to do a mixture of 3 things:
1. We take for granted our lives and the things that are in them
2. We complain about the things that we wish we had in life
3. We are thankful for the things that we have

I also believe that every day life is usually dominated by the first two reactions. They seem so much easier to do than to be thankful. It's easier to just go about life and not think about what's actually in it. To not think about what we spend our time doing, or who we spend our time with. We don't realise what we've got...until it's not there any more.


It's also so easy to dwell on the things that aren't going right in life. The things that your life is missing or that you've lost. We are trained to look for better things, for upgrades and the things that we 'deserve' in life. But what is it that we really deserve? What do we really have a 'right' to have in our life? Isn't it enough to be thankful for the things that we have in our life right now, and not to dwell on the things we don't have?

I'm at a point in my life right now. I'm stick in a spiral of dwelling on what I'm missing in life- what I don't have. The friends I can't be with, the things that are going on without me, the times I spend alone when all I want is to have someone here with me. But it needs to stop. I'm so thankful for the times that I've had people around me, that I've had friends who love me and care for me. I still have that- it's just changed. I need to be thankful.

As I said, it's easy to dwell on the things that you don't have in your life. What about all the things that we do have? Friends and family that love us no matter where in the world we are. A God who loves us and is with us all the time. The joy of being able to tell people about this God who loves us. A beautiful world created for us to enjoy.

Father, please help me to be thankful

Church is family

Please don't take your church family for granted. I hope you go to a church where you feel at home. You know people there and they know you. I don't mean that they know about you, but that they really KNOW you and they care about and for you. I had a church famliy like this in Adelaide. I loved seeing them every week, spending time with them and worshipping God together. Just like my 'real' family, I took them for granted. I took for granted the fact that they'd be there for me no matter how I was feeling. I took for granted the love that they shared with me when they invited me to their homes; as they prayed for things going on in my life; as we read the Bible together. Mostly I miss the love they conveyed in such simple ways as smiles and hugs.

'Church shopping' isn't fun. It's like going to live with a long-lost sister that you only just found out you had. You know there's a connection between the two of you, but you don't know the first thing about her. You aren't comfortable around her and you don't know what to say. I hope this is making some sort of sense. There's a comfort to family (church or not) that you don't realise is there until it's not there- or you're not there. That said, there's things you can do to grow the relationship, but it's not easy. The best thing to do is persevere. Persevere with going, with talking to people, with getting involved, with taking up invitations etc. That said, I guess it's the same with your church family too. Sometimes you won't feel like seeing them, or going to church at all (for whatever reasons). You just have to. 

The thing I need to remember is that church is about worshipping God. It's not about how I feel, but about having the chance to gather with others to sing praises to our most wonderful creator. It's about reading the Bible together and listening to what God is saying through the songs, Bible, preacher, and other people around us. It's not about us at all- it's about God.